Written in the style of There is No Antimemetics Division by QNTM:

“The Mustard Seed refuses propagation,” Deacon Ellis says. “We’ve tried everything.”

“No, you haven’t.”

Fifth Elder says, “We’ve applied nutrient bath, electrolysis charge, interior photosynthesis, plus a dozen more techniques. Nothing we do affects it the slightest. The Mustard Seed simply won’t grow.”

“Did you try singing it lullabies?” Claire quips. Fifth Elder flashes a warning glare. “Fine, let me ask you a question: what’s the necessary precondition for a Parable Algorithm to compile properly?”

“It’s a waste of time,” Ellis says. “Dr. Emmons has had many chances to justify her research.”

“Let her speak, Ellis.”

Reluctantly, the deacon submits.